love, lust and dragons?
by sithsentinal
Summary: A series of one shots from various eras.
1. Chapter 1

Pound it whilst it's hot.

As Hiccup was working on a new saddle for his girlfriend's dragon Stormfly he didn't notice a pair of blondes creep up behind him each with a object in their hands; rope and a pair of scissors. For a few months now Hiccup had let his hair grow long and had to usually tie it up in to a pony tail to stop it from getting in to his face laying the saddle down he replaced the weapons with no notice of the blondes behind "well I guess that's it for-" suddenly he was thrown onto a chair and wrapped up with some rope "Toothless bit of help here bud?" The dragon in question looked between the two females and Hiccup and just snorted and trotted away "so much about Dragon loyalty." He mumbled and looked up to the faces of the culprits "Astrid come on I expect this from ruff but not from you!" He cried out to his girlfriend who in turn grinned at the female twin "you can go now Ruff but thanks for the help." The female twin smiled and replied as she walked out "anytime!" Hiccup returned his gaze to his girlfriend and asked "well what now?" Astrid whipped out the pair of scissors she had hidden on her skirt and walked up to Hicup saucily and bent down to whisper "firstly I'm going to take liberties whith you hair then I'm going to take liberty with the rest of your body and there's nothing you can do about it." At this the rest of the blood in his head travelled straight down to his manhood even more blood rushed down as Astrid straddled his thighs and winked at him then suddenly he snapped out of his daze when he heard a _snip!_ And a chunk of his hair fall down between his back and his tunic "great that going to make my back itch for the rest of the night!" He cried as he availed at beautiful currently on him who in turn reached forwards and teased him more by denying him a kiss at this he poured at her "aw! Are you pouting big baby boo?" At this he snorted uncontrollably and replied "big baby boo? Really? That sounds like something I would call Toothless." Astrid chuckled along with knowing it was probably true. After a few minutes Astrid moved positions and encountered a _problem. _a 12 inch long and 4 inch wide problem, she gasped as it rubbed against her covered yet soaked center they had made out a few time but she had never felt him that hard before and it caused a small orgasm which coated her underwear in a new layer of juices which made her blush deep red but she also realised how good it felt as she rubbed their clothed sexes together _so close...closer...and closer...and _"Hiccup what have I… Aw not again you two, first behind the storehouse and now here!" The irate blacksmith shouted at the pair "I'll see you later." Astrid soared as she ran out leaving a still tied up Hiccup looking at his mentor sheepishly "tell yer what hiccup I'll finish off here and you go after yer lady friend but remember what I say 'pound it whilst it's hot!" As Gobber cut the ropes hiccup ran out of the forge and replayed Gobber's words;_pound it whilst it's hot_ and looked for his girlfriend with a devious grin.


	2. paint

"Astrid stop! GAH-!" Hiccup batted Astrids hands away from his face, her hands were covered in red paint and was trying to apply it to Hiccup's face she stopped and said "Hello Stoick." Hiccup turned around to see no one there and as he turned around he felt a wet hand connect with the side of his face he turned the rest of the way to see Astrid laughing her face off he pushed her away and grabbed his Gronckle Iron Sheild and looked in it's reflection, halfway across his face was a giant had print in red paint, he turned and glared at the woman and said "you are in for it now."

Three days later...

Astrid sat down and looked at hiccup as he searched for the blue paint Astrid usually uses "Ah-ha! there it is I knew I had left it around somewhere!" he turned and gave it to her, he had already painted himself with his own hand print since his father had commented on how good it looked on him "there you go milady!" he watched as she applied it to her skin and noticed some had got on her lips and grinned, Astrid noticed his grin and asked "What?" He started to laughed and stand up and say "does it taste a bit salty?" noticing her confused expression he pointed to his lip and she lapped up the paint with her tounge and thought _yeah it does taste salty a lot like his-_ "Hiccup you discusting perv!" he laughed and ran away laughing and shouting "well you did say you wanted to be painted with it!"

After that Astrid kept her paint well away from Hiccup.

**I got the idea from _American Pie: Band Camp _and thought i would be a good form of revenge for Hiccup**

**P.S. I am seriously just thinking of random thing and i know i could do better. sorry ;)**


	3. Freya help me (part 1)

Hiccup was confused. He had been missing a few shirts, it was often known that he would usually leave a few in the forge for when he was doing a lot of work and he would need to have a clean one spare but the problem was that the shirts were missing from the forge so for the time being he has had to walk across the plaza of the village shirtless and he would get quite a few stares from the women who were in the plaza. And yet every time he woke up the next morning he would find a slightly damp shirt with the rest of his dirty clothes, so tonight he decided to find out who was stealing his shirts.

**(THAT NIGHT)**

As Hiccup llooked around his room and nodded and closed his eyes; above his door he had put a bucket of cold water that had a few ice cubes in and he had locked the window above Toothlesses slab, he even his breathing so it sounded like he was sleeping, he waited for what felt like hours when he heard the stairs creak slightly as someone crept up them, he heard his door open and the bucket fall and an ear piercing scream, Hiccup shot up and brought his sword up but stopped when he saw Astrid Hofferson standing there with his shirt in her left hand, Hiccup looked behind her to see his father standing there with his mace resting on his shoulder "I'm going to- yeah go downstairs." And with that his father disappeared from view.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third just what do you think you were doing?!" Astrid scolded as she walked up to him and thumped hard on the arm. Hiccup looked at her and could see that the ice and water had done it's job, she was sufficiently soaked and the cold had affected her in one of the most arousing ways Hiccup could think of, the cold water had hardened Astrid's nipples enough that they could be seen behind her nightgown standing erect and pointing directly at Hiccups face, they were so hard all he wanted to do w as s suck them and- "hey eyes up here!" He quickly looked up to her face and tried to look at her innocently "don't try the innocent act with me I know where you were staring, later." Hiccup scoffed and said "well maybe you should stop taking my shirts. And on that note why is when I get them they are damp and smell weird?" Astrid blushed and said "well swing you shirtless gets us quite erm... excitable and we get carried away a bit." Hiccup looked at her, gobsmacked and ran through what she had just said "hang on 'we'?" Astrid looked down at her feet and mumbled " me, Heather and Ruffnut."

"Oh Thor this is too much oh gods." And with that he fainted


	4. AN

Hello readers!

I will be continuing with both of my stories very soon, I am sorry I haven't been able to update recently I have had several problems recently, lost chapters, steerable internet connection and so forth, so for the time being I am currently having to write everything on my Kindle fire and mobile phone so please be patient as I will soon be uploading some new chapters

-Sincerely Sithsentinal


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